Alexis Emm<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\nFor 630 days, Lily Sateriale brought light and laughter into her family\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n
For 630 days, the Sateriales\u2014mom Laura, dad Micah, twins Molly and Mia, then 8, and 5-year-old William\u2014watched her grow and giggle.<\/p>\n
\u201cLily had an incredibly vibrant personality,\u201d Laura said. \u201cShe had a great sense of humor, even though she was still so young. She always gave a sideways glance if you said something that she thought was silly, and she loved making faces to make you laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n
But on the morning of Day 631, everything changed.<\/p>\n
Lily didn\u2019t wake up, and the Sateriales\u2019 lives as they knew them were over.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was something so joyous and harmonious about her presence in our family, and sadly, she took it with her when she left us,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
At 20 months old, Lily died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood, a relatively rare diagnosis applied to children older than 12 months whose passing is still unexplained after a thorough examination.<\/p>\n
Lily was entirely healthy when she died, leaving her parents doubly stricken: not only had they lost their child, but they\u2019d never know why.<\/p>\n
\u201cMicah and I are terrified anytime illness strikes our family,\u201d Laura said. \u201cWe wake up hourly at night to make sure everyone is breathing. The older kids roll their eyes because I don\u2019t let them shut their bedroom doors. Molly will even look up at me, half-awake, and say, \u2018Relax, Mom, I\u2019m alive!\u2019 It\u2019s so \u2018normal\u2019 to them, which is a little strange for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
In order to cope with her grief, Laura started writing shortly after Lily\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was cathartic, to say the least,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
After hearing from others that she should turn her musings into a book, Laura started putting it together, using her journal as the basis.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt gradually became a retrospective look at my grief experience,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s raw and very honest, but it\u2019s also hopeful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Not Goodbye: A Mother\u2019s Search for Hope After Sudden Child Loss\u201d shares Laura\u2019s struggle with her grief and how she managed to come out on the other side. She used Amazon\u2019s self-publishing platform, which offers both a print book and an electronic version for Kindle. So far, she said, the reaction has been positive.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople have thanked me for writing this book because it offers a perspective that isn\u2019t shared openly very often,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
For Laura and her family, the book is another way to help share Lily\u2019s story with the world.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have always felt strongly about keeping Lily\u2019s memory alive,\u201d she said. \u201cI drive around with a huge photo magnet of her on the back of my car. I talk about her with anyone who will listen. I think that\u2019s a common thread amongst bereaved parents. We love to share our children with others.\u201d<\/p>\n
And she\u2019s not the only one \u2014 one of her twin daughters has also taken pen to paper about Lily.<\/p>\n
\u201cMia has been writing her own story about losing her sister, and I think it\u2019s beautiful that she wants to do that,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
The book is also meant to help others who have lost a child \u2014 and gotten lost themselves. After Lily passed away, Laura was terrified by life, she explained. She wanted someone to tell her the feeling was normal, and that it would get easier.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is the message I hope this book will share with others,\u201d Laura said. \u201cThe pain and sorrow do not go away, but in time, you learn new ways to live with them. You can enjoy life again, and let go of the guilt that holds you back from happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura and Micah have found happiness in their other children. They\u2019ve even added to their brood: Ember is 4 and River is 2. They bring energy and chaos \u2014 the good kind \u2014 to the Sateriale household. While the distraction is welcome, sometimes it does bring fresh grief.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe knew the exact dates when Ember and River turned 630 days old. We were relieved when they surpassed it, but it was also sad knowing that each milestone that followed was one that Lily would never reach,\u201d Laura said. \u201cI like to think that every passing day makes them stronger, and closer to an age when we can breathe easier. We worry, but the happiness that they\u2019ve brought back to our lives outweighs all of our fears.\u201d SWM <\/em><\/p>\n\u201cGoodnight, Not Goodbye: A Mother\u2019s Search for Hope After Sudden Child Loss\u201d is available on Amazon Kindle and in paperpack.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Turning Loss into Words By Sarah Hall | Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 For 630 days, Lily Sateriale brought light and laughter into her family\u2019s lives. For 630 days, the Sateriales\u2014mom Laura, dad Micah, twins Molly and Mia, then 8, and 5-year-old William\u2014watched her grow and giggle. \u201cLily had an incredibly vibrant personality,\u201d Laura said. \u201cShe…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":679,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[99],"tags":[156,231,233,201,232],"class_list":["post-705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","tag-alexis-emm","tag-goodnight-not-goodbye-a-mothers-search-for-hope-after-sudden-child-loss","tag-laura-sateriale","tag-may-2017","tag-sarah-hall"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Inspire-Lauren-ONLINE-1.jpg?fit=5200%2C3483&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1907,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1907","url_meta":{"origin":705,"position":0},"title":"Clara Cedeno","author":"Staff","date":"June 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Finding Yourself with Food\u00a0 By Lorna Oppedisano | Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 \u201cI never see anything that I do as a waste of time,\u201d Clara Cedeno said, \u201cbecause once you start seeing things as a waste of time, you start having all these regrets.\u201d You can learn something from every\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/SWM-MAG-5-11-18-Alexis-Emm-Photo-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C802&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/SWM-MAG-5-11-18-Alexis-Emm-Photo-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C802&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/SWM-MAG-5-11-18-Alexis-Emm-Photo-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C802&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/SWM-MAG-5-11-18-Alexis-Emm-Photo-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C802&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/SWM-MAG-5-11-18-Alexis-Emm-Photo-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C802&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3371,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=3371","url_meta":{"origin":705,"position":1},"title":"Cover story – Laura Hand: Using her platform for good","author":"Alyssa Dearborn","date":"October 27, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"By Norah Machia Laura Hand had always believed she could use her position as a broadcast journalist to shed a positive light on the Syracuse community and all it had to offer. During her 47-year career as a reporter and anchor at NBC 3 and CNY Central News, \u201cI saw\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Cover Story"","block_context":{"text":"Cover Story","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=100"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Laura-Hand-and-Moose-Syracuse-Woman-Magazine-0018-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Laura-Hand-and-Moose-Syracuse-Woman-Magazine-0018-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Laura-Hand-and-Moose-Syracuse-Woman-Magazine-0018-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Laura-Hand-and-Moose-Syracuse-Woman-Magazine-0018-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Laura-Hand-and-Moose-Syracuse-Woman-Magazine-0018-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1554,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1554","url_meta":{"origin":705,"position":2},"title":"Jean Phillips","author":"Staff","date":"February 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Keeping Your Health in Mind\u00a0 By Samantha Leader | Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 Jean Phillips, a retired Syracuse City School District educator and administrator, was familiar with the impact of heart disease. Her sister passed away from a heart attack at age 61, and her brother passed away from heart\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AEP-SWM-FEB-2017-3.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AEP-SWM-FEB-2017-3.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AEP-SWM-FEB-2017-3.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AEP-SWM-FEB-2017-3.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/AEP-SWM-FEB-2017-3.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1595,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1595","url_meta":{"origin":705,"position":3},"title":"Linda Lovig","author":"Staff","date":"March 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"The Birth of Syracuse Midwives By Lorna Oppedisano | Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 When Syracuse native Linda Lovig moved with her family to Flagstaff, Ariz., she wanted to do something for her community, and decided to get certified as an EMT. 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