By Alyssa Dearborn<\/p>\n
Photo by Tara Polcara<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re struggling, AnnMarie Otis wants you to think about one existential question: What would the people in your life miss about you? What wouldn\u2019t you get to experience if you weren\u2019t here?<\/p>\n
In short, what would you miss?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I think of what I\u2019d miss most,\u201d she said, \u201cit\u2019s not a job or that I\u2019m a mom or that I have a house. It\u2019s none of those things. It\u2019s the fact that I sing really loud in the car and I love doing that. It\u2019s that I make the best Italian cookies that you will ever eat. I love to tell inappropriate jokes. These are the things that make me unique, and those are the things I would miss.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why Otis created \u201cWhat Would You Miss?,\u201d a suicide prevention campaign that attempts to reframe the thought process for people struggling with mental illness. The effort, which is done in partnership with the S.I. Newhouse School of Communications at Syracuse University and the National Alliance on Mental Illness, includes a social media campaign, as well as a podcast and PSAs.<\/p>\n
For Otis, the struggle is a very personal one.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was hospitalized about eight years ago,\u201d she said. \u201cI had amazing friends who were super supportive.\u201d<\/p>\n
But their words of support did little to convince her that it was all worth it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey would say, \u2018Oh, you\u2019re such a great mom and such a great friend,\u2019 and it\u2019d make me feel worse,\u201d she said. \u201cI just thought, \u2018Oh God. I suck.\u2019 If I wanted to kill myself and I\u2019m all these things then I really suck, like there\u2019s something wrong with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Instead, Otis started looking at her own life: what would make it worth it? She made a list of everything about herself that the world would lose if she took herself out of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy list was very long. And it made me feel like I had worth,\u201d she said. \u201cWhen you\u2019re depressed like that and you\u2019re having suicidal thoughts, you feel like there\u2019s no hope. And the reason there\u2019s no hope is that you feel worthless. Those silly things that make me uniquely me make me feel worthy. That gave me hope.\u201d<\/p>\n
After the realization that just a simple question could give people hope and talk about their mental health, she began asking her friends, family, and eventually strangers what they would miss about their own lives. This led to the several collected anecdotes and answers featured across What Would You Miss?\u2019s social media pages. Some stories, as Otis elaborated, became testimony of how her mission had the potential to make a real difference.<\/p>\n
She pointed to one local mother whose son texted her when he was in crisis at school.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe messaged me and said that her son texted her at school, saying, \u2018I need you to pick me up. I was going to kill myself today, but you made me think that I\u2019m not a burden to you. I think I need to go to the hospital again,\u2019\u201d Otis said. \u201cHe\u2019s been hospitalized before and has had several attempts. She picked him up from school and she was messaging me from Upstate.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf What Would You Miss? failed today,\u201d she added, \u201cit wouldn\u2019t matter because it saved that child\u2019s life. It has already made a profound impact on people\u2019s lives. I want this to succeed so bad, but if it fails, it wouldn\u2019t matter to me because it saved someone\u2019s life already.\u201d<\/p>\n
Otis\u2019s unique approach to talking about the delicate subjects of mental health and suicide prevention bring the individual spirit back to the center of the conversation. With a public service announcement and an upcoming podcast, \u201cWhat Would You Miss? also aims to make the conversation more accessible and open to everyone.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe first person we\u2019re going to have on the talk show podcast is the director of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention.,\u201d she said. \u201cWe want to talk about safe language. We need to change the conversation and the language we\u2019re using in the mental health space because what we\u2019re doing is perpetuating stigma. And we\u2019re doing it in such an extreme way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Every day, people are misinformed \u2014 mainly through entertainment media \u2014 about people with mental illnesses and how mental illness effects their own community. These misconceptions, as Otis explained, lead people to view those who struggle with their mental health in a negative light.<\/p>\n
\u201cTake a look at \u2018Law & Order\u2019 and all those shows,\u201d Otis said. \u201cWho is the criminal every time? I\u2019ll tell you who it is. It\u2019s someone with mental illness, someone with schizophrenia, someone who is bipolar, which is completely false. People with a severe mental illness are 10 times more likely to be the victim of a crime, not the one committing the crime. We need to change the language and make the conversation safe. The more we talk the better chance we have of making a real impact.\u201d<\/p>\n
There are many things that each person can do to make the conversation surrounding mental health safer, but one of the best \u2014 and easiest \u2014 things we all can do is be there for each other and support those struggling with their mental health.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe first thing I would say is that you\u2019re not a burden. And I would let them know that it\u2019s safe to have a conversation about what going on,\u201d Otis said. \u201cI\u2019d also let them know that they\u2019re not alone. I hate that sentence sometimes because it sounds so trite, but you\u2019re not alone and that\u2019s really important.\u201d<\/p>\n
Knowing what to say to and do for a loved one who experiencing a difficult time can also be intimidating, but Otis reminds us how important it is to learn how to be there for others.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t be scared of what they\u2019re going to say,\u201d she said. \u201cI think that\u2019s a very important aspect of it. As a mom it\u2019s really hard when your kid says to you, \u2018I don\u2019t want to be here anymore.\u2019 Hearing your kid say that is intense. But you need to understand that they are having these emotions, and it\u2019s okay to have these emotions. They are just feelings. Actions are what you really need to worry about. So let them talk to you in a safe way.\u201d<\/p>\n
For more information, visit Facebook.com\/whatwouldyoumiss\/ or Instagram.com\/what_would_you_miss\/.<\/p>\n
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the\u00a0National Suicide Prevention Lifeline\u00a0at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the\u00a0Crisis Text Line by texting\u00a0TALK to 741741.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Alyssa Dearborn Photo by Tara Polcara If you\u2019re struggling, AnnMarie Otis wants you to think about one existential question: What would the people in your life miss about you? What wouldn\u2019t you get to experience if you weren\u2019t here? In short, what would you miss? \u201cWhen I think of what I\u2019d miss most,\u201d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2771,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[101,126],"tags":[1067,483,157,733,938,1068],"class_list":["post-2770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-health","tag-annmarie-otis","tag-health-and-wellness","tag-inspire","tag-mental-health","tag-suicide-prevention","tag-what-would-you-miss"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/AnnMarie-Otis.jpg?fit=5760%2C3840&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2386,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2386","url_meta":{"origin":2770,"position":0},"title":"INSPIRE: Dr. Annette Otis","author":"Staff","date":"May 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"By Becca Taurisano \u00a0 Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is one of the most difficult things any pet owner will experience. 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