By Sarah Hall<\/p>\n
Photos by Maureen Tricase\/Capture Your Moments<\/p>\n
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Bryn Lovejoy-Grinnell is often surprised at how many people she encounters who don\u2019t realize they\u2019re being subjected to interpersonal abuse.<\/p>\n
\u201c[They] came in for a divorce and they started talking and you realize, \u2018What you just described is abusive,\u201d said the family law attorney. \u201c\u2019I’m here for a divorce, but we’re going to need to do supervised visits because my husband has hurt my kids before.\u2019 \u2018Everything has to be in writing because my partner calls me terrible names and threatens my life.\u2019 I was just amazed at the number people who didn’t even identify domestic violence as an issue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bryn has always specialized in domestic violence cases, but now it makes up her entire caseload. Bryn started as Vera House\u2019s in-house counsel last November.<\/p>\n
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Shifting the balance of power<\/strong><\/p>\n Bryn\u2019s position was created thanks to a five-year grant from New York State Office of Victim Services. While attorney John Cerando has provided pro bono services for other legal work (contracts, subpoenas, human resources work, etc.), Vera House has never had an attorney on staff to provide help to clients.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat victim service agencies have been saying for a long time was, \u2018We need money for an attorney,\u2019\u201d Bryn said. \u201c\u2019We have advocates, we have shelter. But what we really need is attorneys to represent our clients.\u2019”<\/p>\n Some of Vera House\u2019s clients do have access to attorneys \u2014 some have one provided through Hiscock Legal Aid or Assigned Counsel, while others can afford a private attorney. But many fall somewhere in between.<\/p>\n \u201c[The income qualifications for an assigned attorney are] much lower than what the people [make] who can actually afford a lawyer,\u201d Bryn said. \u201cIf you go to a lawyer’s office, they’re going to ask for $2,000 for the $5,000 as a retainer fee. Someone who’s making $30,000 a year doesn’t have that money to put it down.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s where Vera House\u2019s Legal Project comes in. They provide representation in matters of divorce, child support, spousal support, custody, visitation, Family Court Orders of Protection and campus discipline, particularly Title IX proceedings.<\/p>\n Clients can connect with Bryn at any point in the legal process.<\/p>\n \u201cSometimes people come in before they’ve done anything, maybe before they’ve even left,\u201d Bryn said. \u201c[Or] people have already filed something on their own, and then they have a court date coming up. Maybe they’ve even gone to one or two court dates and they go, \u2018Wait, I need a lawyer.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Sometimes Bryn will consult with people once to lay out their options. But she said victims especially benefit from having an attorney.<\/p>\n \u201cVictims of domestic violence in particular have usually experienced emotional abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, being made to think that they’re crazy,\u201d she said. \u201cThey have believed their abusers\u2019 lies.\u201d<\/p>\n But having someone in their corner who has gone through the legal process before gives them back a sense of power.<\/p>\n \u201cHaving an attorney who can say, \u2018I’ve been here before, and we’re going to stand up to that,\u2019\u201d Bryn said, \u201cthat’s pretty powerful.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A better option<\/strong><\/p>\n Bryn\u2019s entire career has centered around working with victims of domestic violence. An Ithaca native, she graduated from Harvard University, then returned home to attend law school at Cornell.<\/p>\n \u201cI worked with some fantastic mentors at the law school, who pushed me even more in the direction of public interest law and child advocacy,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Realizing that not many attorneys specialized in domestic violence, Bryn decided that was the path she wanted to follow. As it happened, just when she had passed the New York State Bar Exam and started looking for a job, her dream position became available: there was an opening at Hiscock Legal Aid in their dedicated domestic violence project.<\/p>\n \u201cI completely lucked out and got my dream job from minute one,\u201d Bryn said. \u201cThere was a great sense of community and a lot of cooperation and shared workload.\u201d<\/p>\n After eight years, in order to broaden her skill set, Bryn spent two years in private practice, first at Melvin & Melvin, PLLC and then at Bousquet Holstein PLLC, to get more experience in higher income divorces. But the majority of her workload still focused on domestic violence cases.<\/p>\n That resume made her the obvious choice when Vera House received the grant from the Office of Victim Services.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been here since November, but I\u2019ve been representing domestic violence clients my whole law career,\u201d Bryn said. \u201cIt\u2019s really powerful to have someone come in and say, \u2018I don\u2019t have any options,\u2019 and have them leave going, \u2018I have a plan, there\u2019s hope and I can do it.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Breaking the cycle, a little at a time<\/strong><\/p>\n Bryn can\u2019t help every victim on her own, however. Vera House contracts with a list of attorneys who also provide representation to clients. But she\u2019s also working to help lawyers and law students better understand domestic violence.<\/p>\n \u201cThere’s unfortunately a number of attorneys in our community who will still say things like, \u2018Why didn’t she leave?\u2019 \u2018What’s wrong with her?\u2019\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cThese things are victim-blaming and don’t evince a real understanding of the dynamics of domestic violence.\u201d<\/p>\n In May, Vera House hosted a training for attorneys on trauma-informed legal work. Sixty lawyers attended \u2014 a full house. Bryn said the organization will host another in November, which she hopes will bring in other community members, as well.<\/p>\n \u201cIf we could have a community of lawyers who all responded to people with trauma in a sensitive and thoughtful manner, it would be amazing,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n And, obviously, Vera House works with more that just lawyers.<\/p>\n \u201cOur prevention classes are trying to talk to even with little kids \u2014 you deserve to be safe,\u201d Bryn said. \u201cAnd we’re hoping for a world free of violence and abuse. That’s what we’re working toward every day.\u201d<\/p>\n Will we ever get there?<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so,\u201d she said. \u201cI’ve had the experience of working with women who said, \u2018Every relationship that I’ve ever known was abusive. Every woman I’ve known has been hurt by her male partners, and I’m going to show my kids something different.\u2019 That\u2019s real change, and that’s how you break that cycle.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n