PHOTOS BY ALICE G. PATTERSON PHOTOGRAPHY<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If you ask Rob Bick, his late wife, Ann Marie, was practically a superhero.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe had an extraordinary intellect, an extraordinary curiosity, a razor sharp sense of humor and a monumental sense of what the common good should be and a desire to make it happen any way she could,\u201d he said. \u201cShe loved her friends\u2026 and if you were in her universe, her goal was to make sure you were taken care of.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ann Marie Bick passed away after a long battle with metastatic breast cancer last December. According to Rob, 30 percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer will get metastatic breast cancer.<\/p>\n
\u201cMetastatic breast cancer is dangerous, debilitating and relentless,\u201d Rob said.<\/p>\n
Ann Marie was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. After a double mastectomy and chemotherapy, she thought she\u2019d beaten the disease, but in May of 2013, she learned that the cancer had returned, and it had metastasized to her bones. For three years, she lived relatively symptom-free, but in the last two years of her life, Ann Marie was in and out of the hospital. Her liver and kidneys were failing. She became dehydrated. She was in near-constant pain. At one point, she was taking 87 different medications and supplements.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s such an ugly, relentless disease that you can\u2019t even put it into words,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In sickness and in health<\/p>\n
The Bicks\u2019 lives didn\u2019t always revolve around chemo and trips to the emergency room. The couple met by chance on the set of WSYR\u2019s \u201cBridge Street\u201d on Jan. 7, 2013. Ann Marie was scheduled to do a segment on decorating, while Rob, the assessor for the town of Clay, was there to discuss the snowmobile ride for kids with special needs he organizes every year: Since 2002, volunteers to bring their snowmobiles to Clay Town Hall and 30 to 40 children with special needs can ride the trails behind the town complex.<\/p>\n
The two exchanged information and began emailing each other and ultimately struck up a relationship. They had been together for five months when Ann Marie was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. While that might have spelled the end for another couple, Rob and Ann Marie stuck it out; they got married in October of 2017. And Rob stood by her, through sickness and health \u2014 even when the sick days came to outnumber the healthy ones. And when Ann Marie passed away, it was those lonely days sitting by her side in emergency rooms or oncology wards that he thought of.<\/p>\n
\u201cI recently had a colonoscopy,\u201d he said. \u201cWhen I was in my hospital gown waiting to get wheeled in, I looked over to my left at the empty chair, and it emphasized how critically important it had been for either me, her kids or a friend to be there for Ann Marie for any trip to the doctor or the hospital \u2014 and there were hundreds.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rob said we need to change the way we look at healthcare to make it better for patients and their families.<\/p>\n
\u201c[We need to] have some level of convenience for the family of the people that are requiring long-term care,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Live like you\u2019re living<\/p>\n
Rob is now focused on creating a legacy for Ann Marie, the main component of which is a nonprofit called the Live Like You\u2019re Living Foundation. He named it after a phrase she was fond of using in her motivational speaking. The foundation will focus on raising funds for and awareness about metastatic breast cancer, but it will also help with estate and end-of-life planning, as the disease is incurable. Rob said he also wants the nonprofit to provide resources for surviving spouses and families.<\/p>\n
\u201cI saw it happen with my mother, and it has happened to me,\u201d he said. \u201cMost of the friends kind of disappear. Most people shed a few tears and go back to their lives. Those that have experienced this type of loss are the ones that get it. More people need this help than you can imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rob also wants to see a major change in the way terminal illness is handled. He said he wants to establish mixed-use medical facilities to accommodate not only the growing number of cancer patients in Central New York, but also their families and loved ones.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe spent a lot of time on the cancer floor at St. Joe\u2019s, where the care Ann Marie received and the nurses were fabulous,\u201d he said. \u201cBut the cancer floor was usually full. With the explosion of cancer we are experiencing, we need more patient care facilities.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rob said while he lived in close proximity to where his wife was being treated, not everyone is so lucky.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe people I met from Watertown and Saranac Lake and Binghamton \u2014 they have kids to take care of, and dogs, and houses, and they\u2019re trying to find affordable places to stay, and they\u2019ve got to pay $20 a day to park and all of these crazy things,\u201d he said. \u201cAll this adds up to create monumental stress on everyone when you really need to be there, focusing on the well-being of the patient.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
People with vision<\/p>\n
As a longtime civil servant with degrees in commercial real estate finance and architecture from St. Lawrence University and Harvard, Rob knows exactly where those multi-use facilities can be built.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re closing nearly 6,000 retail stores nationwide this year and close to that last year,\u201d he said. \u201cBuildings like that need to be utilized for community benefit. People tout the fact that these buildings are built and some company comes in, makes a lot of money and somehow that benefits the community. That’s just nonsense.\u201d<\/p>\n
Instead, he said, those buildings should be used to house long-term treatment centers, as well as lodging, restaurants, day care, pet care and retail, all on one campus, so that patients and their families can have access to everything they need all in one space.<\/p>\n
\u201c[This will cause] substantially less stress for the family unit in all facets of the process, allowing them to be there, fully attentive to their loved ones undergoing treatment, without the added burdens congruent with longer-term medical care,\u201d Rob said.<\/p>\n
He noted that such a project might not be politically popular.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen between half and a third of the population has cancer and people are clamoring for better healthcare\u2026 then something has got to happen,\u201d he said. \u201cWe have to find progressive thinkers, not people who want to hold onto what they have at the expense of everyone who is trying to solve life\u2019s real problems. You have to find visionaries.\u201d<\/p>\n
Visionaries\u2014like Ann Marie.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe got married with our eye on hope for the future, and we did everything we could,\u201d Rob said. \u201cAnn Marie did more than I thought was humanly possible. Now it is my responsibility to learn all that I can from what we were called upon to endure in hopes that I may pass some understanding on to others in need.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
PHOTOS BY ALICE G. PATTERSON PHOTOGRAPHY If you ask Rob Bick, his late wife, Ann Marie, was practically a superhero. \u201cShe had an extraordinary intellect, an extraordinary curiosity, a razor sharp sense of humor and a monumental sense of what the common good should be and a desire to make it happen any way…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2442,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[100,99,101],"tags":[738,708,879,878,871],"class_list":["post-2441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cover-story","category-featured","category-features","tag-ann-marie-bick","tag-cover-story","tag-live-while-youre-living","tag-rob-bick","tag-the-man-issue"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Husna-Lapidus-09.jpg?fit=3471%2C5200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2209,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2209","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":0},"title":"\u2018Live like you\u2019re living:\u2019 Remembering Ann Marie Bick","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"December 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Plenty of people talk about making the world a better place. Ann Marie Bick actually did it. \u201cAnn Marie firmly believed that everybody has the ability to do good in this world,\u201d said her husband, Rob Bick. \u201cIf you met her, you could not help but be influenced in a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/AMS-May-2015.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/AMS-May-2015.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/AMS-May-2015.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/AMS-May-2015.jpg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2304,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2304","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":1},"title":"SPECIAL FEATURE: A style for every story","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"March 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"At the New York State Fair last year, Frieda Weeks was approached by a woman who told her the kind of news she loves to hear. \u201cShe was a woman of the cloth and she said, \u2018I want you to know that two years ago I got a symptom card\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Causes"","block_context":{"text":"Causes","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=104"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Heather-Weeks.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Heather-Weeks.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Heather-Weeks.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Heather-Weeks.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Heather-Weeks.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3326,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=3326","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":2},"title":"Cover Story – Amber vs. Cancer: Strength and perseverance mark Amber Howland\u2019s battle against cancer","author":"Alyssa Dearborn","date":"September 30, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"By Norah Machia As a young breast cancer survivor, Amber M. 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