{"id":2367,"date":"2019-05-03T12:33:20","date_gmt":"2019-05-03T16:33:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2367"},"modified":"2019-04-23T12:38:27","modified_gmt":"2019-04-23T16:38:27","slug":"special-feature-letters-to-heaven-fayetteville-family-finds-solace-in-sending-letters-to-lost-loved-ones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2367","title":{"rendered":"SPECIAL FEATURE: Letters to heaven: Fayetteville family finds solace in sending letters to lost loved ones"},"content":{"rendered":"

BY JASON KLAIBER<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

To those who ask the number of children Michelle Wilbur has, she tells them seven.<\/span><\/p>\n

On Aug. 26, 2017 Michelle gave birth prematurely to one-pound fraternal twins.<\/span><\/p>\n

The next day her son Jackson, the younger of the two by one minute, died in the newborn intensive care unit at Crouse Hospital, the result of burst lungs. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tobie, the other twin, spent the ensuing five months in Crouse before being released for two weeks and then airlifted to Upstate University Hospital, where he stayed until this past December. Doctors performed three separate brain surgeries on Tobie. In addition to experiencing several strokes and impaired vision, he had developed hydrocephalus, a build-up of excess fluid in the brain\u2019s ventricles.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cHe was not supposed to survive,\u201d Michelle said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Along the way, in March of last year, Michelle\u2019s mother fell into a coma and soon after lost her roughly 20-year battle with liver disease.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

During that stretch, Michelle and her family split time between their current home in Fayetteville, their former home in Massena and the Ronald McDonald House Charities. <\/span><\/p>\n

A 37-year-old single mother, Michelle also raises her daughter Gretchen, son West and adopted identical twins Natalie and Corinne. Her eldest daughter, Marissa, is currently away at college. <\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle, who previously served on the board of directors for the Legal Aid Society of Northeastern New York, now looks after her children full-time. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRight now, I\u2019m just kind of taking it day by day,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cI like to have things well-set, and they\u2019re not, and I\u2019m having to live trusting each day is going to be okay, and the next day is going to be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As a form of healing, Michelle manages to set aside several hours a week for writing letters to Jackson and her mother, all of them labelled with the destination \u201cHeaven.\u201d She began this practice the September immediately following her son\u2019s death.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was just natural for me to start writing,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cFor me to be able to write to them makes me feel like they\u2019re still here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She also puts a return address on the ones sent to her son, whom she affectionately calls \u201cJack.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt sounds weird, but I always thought, at least he\u2019d know where to come back,\u201d Michelle said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Situating herself in the parlor of her Fayetteville residence, she writes about how much she misses her departed loved ones and inquires into their well-being. Sometimes she\u2019ll share parts of her day. Other times she\u2019ll question life. <\/span><\/p>\n

Her letters, written in cursive, range in length from half a sheet of paper to multiple pages. Depending on the week, she\u2019ll finish two or three letters to Jackson and at least one to her mother. Her middle children also write letters when they can.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starting late last year, the post office started returning the Michelle family\u2019s letters, each one deemed undeliverable for containing an improper mailing address.<\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle, who belongs to East Side Moms of Syracuse on Facebook, posted on the group\u2019s wall in early November explaining her situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

She asked if anoyne knew Heaven\u2019s address, never imagining she would really get an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

One woman suggested Michelle mail her letters to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Another member sent her two international stamps.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

The very next day, in the check-out line at a local T.J. Maxx, Mindy Epstein of the Fayetteville area overheard Michelle conversing with Natalie about their situation and the idea of mailing the letters to the Wailing Wall. Epstein mentioned she herself had lost a child and that her son Ryan was heading to Jerusalem for a 10-day Hebrew school field trip this month.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLife is so weirdly intertwined,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cThere\u2019s not just happenstance.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon speaking with Ryan, Mindy messaged Michelle that her son would personally deliver her entire collection of letters to the Wailing Wall, effectively saving her hundreds of dollars.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s very emotional for me,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cThat her son was willing to take my letters was amazing. I was completely flabbergasted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle said the gesture restored her faith in humanity, calling it \u201cselfless.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s one of those things that I just kinda marvel at that it happened,\u201d David Hinshaw, Epstein\u2019s husband, said. <\/span><\/p>\n

Using the international stamps gifted to her, Michelle mailed one letter written to her son and one to her mother. She gathered together the hundred or so remaining letters, sealed them in envelopes and handed them over in March.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was very hard for me to let go of those letters,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cThere\u2019s something very personal about turning over your thoughts.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle said she doesn\u2019t know anyone else embarking on a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon. Regardless, she said she will continue writing letters.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have to buy stock in international stamps now,\u201d she said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aside from the letters she writes, Michelle channels her energy through painting nature scenes. She has further coped with Jackson\u2019s passing by setting out a basket for him on Easter and filling his stocking for Christmas. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really hard to explain the loss of a child,\u201d Michelle said. <\/span><\/p>\n

Her own mother lost a son, Brian, suddenly and without explanation when he was four months old. Michelle said the last conversation she had with her mother, which took place last fall in a Canton park, concerned the connection between Jackson and Brian. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cIn some aspects she helped me to understand how to grieve Jackson but also how to live still with the children that I have,\u201d Michelle said. \u201cI know people have different views on what Heaven is, and for me, it\u2019s very comforting just to think about my mom and son together.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This story was originally published in The Eagle Bulletin.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BY JASON KLAIBER \u00a0 To those who ask the number of children Michelle Wilbur has, she tells them seven. On Aug. 26, 2017 Michelle gave birth prematurely to one-pound fraternal twins. The next day her son Jackson, the younger of the two by one minute, died in the newborn intensive care unit at Crouse Hospital,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2368,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[101,4],"tags":[834,833,835],"class_list":["post-2367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-special-feature","tag-letters-from-heaven","tag-michelle-wilbur","tag-wailing-wall"],"gutentor_comment":1,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/letters-wailing-wall-color.jpg?fit=3200%2C2400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1658,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1658","url_meta":{"origin":2367,"position":0},"title":"Ronald McDonald House Charities of CNY","author":"Staff","date":"March 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Keeping Families Close in Syracuse\u00a0 Story and photos submitted by Ronald McDonald House Charities of Central New York Ronald McDonald House Charities of Central New York operates the CNY Ronald McDonald House 24 hours a day, year-round, for families whose children are seriously ill and receiving treatment at Syracuse-area hospitals\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Causes"","block_context":{"text":"Causes","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=104"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Steed-Family-01-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C795&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Steed-Family-01-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C795&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Steed-Family-01-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C795&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Steed-Family-01-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C795&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Steed-Family-01-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C795&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":302,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=302","url_meta":{"origin":2367,"position":1},"title":"Twiggy Eure","author":"Staff","date":"January 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"A Drive for Diversity By Kathryn Walsh | Photography by Mary Grace Johnson Twiggy Eure is used to people asking about her name. \u201cThat\u2019s usually a point of conversation,\u201d she laughed. 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