Being a mom is hard.<\/p>\n
I have two kids myself \u2014 my daughter Emily is 4 and my son Andrew is 10. Emily is \u2014 you know when your parents tell you they hope you have a kid just like you someday? Emily has made me realize that is a curse, not a compliment. And Andrew and I recently had the \u201cwhere babies come from\u201d talk.<\/p>\n
So that\u2019s my life.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not easy being a mom under the best of circumstances. Throw in jobs, sports, bills, special needs, what have you, and no wonder moms are so stressed. According to a survey reported on babygaga.com, 64 percent of moms feel that parenting has become more competitive these days, and 75 percent say they feel pressured to be the \u201cperfect\u201d mom. Eight out of 10 moms with kids under 6 say parenting is \u201cexhausting.\u201d (Anecdotal evidence would suggest the other two are either lying or have massive amounts of help.)<\/p>\n
The fact is, the women\u2019s liberation movement of the 1960s and \u201870s failed us in that it told us we could \u201cdo it all\u201d \u2014 and now we\u2019re expected to do it all. We\u2019re expected to work full-time, take care of the kids, maintain a spotless house and look flawless while doing it. And if we have a spouse or partner who does his or her share, we\u2019re considered \u201clucky.\u201d What kind of nonsense is that?<\/p>\n
I do have one of those spouses. He\u2019s a great dad. He does at least 50 percent of the housework \u2014 probably more, because I work a lot, and I also have chronic migraines. But at the same time, I\u2019m the one who keeps track of everyone\u2019s activities. I make the doctor\u2019s appointments. I make lunches. I organize the birthday parties and get all the presents. If someone needs a particular uniform or shirt clean or form filled out, I\u2019m the one who takes care of it. I do all the things he doesn\u2019t think about doing.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s called emotional labor, and I\u2019m sure you know all about it. It\u2019s the idea that we\u2019re stuck with all of the jobs no one else thinks of, the things everyone else sees, but doesn\u2019t do, the things that somehow magically get done \u2014 the laundry gets put away, the kids get to the dentist, the toothpaste gets scrubbed out of the bathroom sink. You could wait until someone else notices is and takes care of it, but then it wouldn\u2019t get done. You could ask someone else to take care of it, but that\u2019s the whole point \u2014 everyone else sees it, so why can\u2019t they take care of it without being asked? Why do I have to micromanage everything? Why can\u2019t someone else take the initiative?<\/p>\n
But how do we address the inequality without sounding like we\u2019re nagging? How do we come to understand that we deserve to share the load equally, perceptions of nagging be damned?<\/p>\n
Like I said, being a mom is hard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Being a mom is hard. I have two kids myself \u2014 my daughter Emily is 4 and my son Andrew is 10. Emily is \u2014 you know when your parents tell you they hope you have a kid just like you someday? Emily has made me realize that is a curse, not a compliment. And…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2359,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[717],"tags":[782],"class_list":["post-2358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-from-the-editor","tag-from-the-editor"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2919,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2919","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":0},"title":"Shawna Gould: At home, and loving it","author":"Staff","date":"July 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shawna Gould\u2019s Real Housewives of CNY provides care and support for stay-at-home moms By Emma Vallelunga Photos by Alice G. Patterson Shawna Gould loves what she does. It\u2019s something many women are struggling with during the pandemic, but a virus isn\u2019t going to stop her from giving every member of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Features"","block_context":{"text":"Features","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=101"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Shawna-Gould-web-1.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Shawna-Gould-web-1.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Shawna-Gould-web-1.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Shawna-Gould-web-1.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2421,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2421","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":1},"title":"FROM THE EDITOR","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"June 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"What makes a good man? The answer to that question has evolved in the last few years (and it\u2019s about time). Yes, a good man should be kind, and honest, and fair, and good with plants. But that\u2019s not enough. Now, to meet the definition of a good man, a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "From the editor"","block_context":{"text":"From the editor","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=717"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":665,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=665","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":2},"title":"Dressing Your Kids","author":"Staff","date":"April 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"When to Let Go of the Shoe Laces By Ann Marie Stonecypher |\u00a0Photography by Simply Heidi Photography As a mom, there is nothing more joyous than picking out clothes for your little one. It\u2019s wired into our mommy DNA. We adorn barely-there hair. We fold socks over chubby little calves.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fashion"","block_context":{"text":"Fashion","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=103"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/indikidsedit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/indikidsedit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/indikidsedit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/indikidsedit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/indikidsedit.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2645,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2645","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":3},"title":"LETTER FROM THE EDITOR: In November, we write about philanthropy","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"October 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Philanthropy in its most basic definition means \u201clove of humanity.\u201d I like to believe that people are basically good \u2014 that we all start out with the best of intentions, full of that love of humanity. Sometimes the world is a cold and lonely place and that love fades (and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "From the editor"","block_context":{"text":"From the editor","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=717"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/breakfast-1869772_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2549,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2549","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":4},"title":"FROM THE EDITOR: September is National Suicide Awareness Month","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"September 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"This is our arts and style issue, so you\u2019re about to read a lot of relatively light-spirited articles about fashion, music and the arts. So let\u2019s start with the heavy stuff, all right? September is National Suicide Prevention Month. We tend not to talk about suicide and mental health, because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Causes"","block_context":{"text":"Causes","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=104"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-1006100_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C676&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-1006100_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C676&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-1006100_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C676&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-1006100_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C676&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/woman-1006100_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C676&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3346,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=3346","url_meta":{"origin":2358,"position":5},"title":"Q&A: The Personal Meaning of Health and Nourishment","author":"Alyssa Dearborn","date":"October 14, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Interview by Lorna Oppedisano We sat down with local author Kate Mahoney and nutritionist Emily Tills to get a preview of their upcoming event, \u201cHealing from the Inside Out,\u201d during which they will interview each other about what nourishment can look like, how health helped shape their purposes, inform their\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Q&A"","block_context":{"text":"Q&A","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=1300"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Emily-Tills-headshot.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Emily-Tills-headshot.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Emily-Tills-headshot.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Emily-Tills-headshot.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Emily-Tills-headshot.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2358"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2358\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2360,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2358\/revisions\/2360"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}