{"id":2094,"date":"2018-09-28T09:00:10","date_gmt":"2018-09-28T13:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2094"},"modified":"2018-09-28T15:58:07","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T19:58:07","slug":"benedicte-doran","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2094","title":{"rendered":"Benedicte Doran"},"content":{"rendered":"

Facing the Unplanned<\/em><\/h1>\n

By Jamie Jenson | Photography by Paul Carmen Viggiano<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Benedicte Doran is a planner.<\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s at her job as an event planner for John Katko for Congress or at home managing the many activities in which her three sons are involved, Benedicte likes to plot things out ahead of time.<\/p>\n

So, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2017 at the age of 48, she was understandably frightened, especially in the beginning, before she knew the plan of action.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy personality is that once they gave me a plan, I was good,\u201d Benedicte said. \u201cThe way that I dealt with it was, \u2018OK, I need a plan.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctors\u2019 plan was terrifying: surgery \u2014 Benedicte opted to get a double mastectomy \u2014 followed by four doses of chemotherapy every other week for two months, followed by 12 weeks of radiation.<\/p>\n

This was not how Benedicte had planned to spend her summer, especially since her middle son, Will, was an active member of his Little League team. He was scheduled to go to Cooperstown for a weeklong baseball event Benedicte referred to as \u201cDisneyland for kids who love baseball.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want anything to be different, so I only missed two of my son\u2019s baseball games,\u201d she said. \u201cWe\u2019d been planning it for so long, so I would go to the games and come back because I had started my chemo at that time, but I was trying to keep everything the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

While it was understandably tough when Benedicte was getting her treatment \u2014 the first few days after her chemotherapy treatments were always the worst \u2014 she tried her best to keep things business as usual, especially for her sons, Jack, 17; Will, 14; and Harry, 7.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to scare them,\u201d she said. \u201cI didn\u2019t want it to weigh on them too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

Benedicte received overwhelming support from her friends and family, especially her husband, Matt;, her mother and sister; and her boss and colleagues. One of the lessons she learned during her treatment was how to accept the help they so willingly gave.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou always want to help more than you\u2019re helped,\u201d she said. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to be a burden to anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Friends and family cooked meals for the Dorans. People sat with Benedicte while she was getting her treatments so she wouldn\u2019t have to be alone. Will\u2019s coach for all-star baseball picked up Harry and let him go to all of the practices, which meant the world to Harry.<\/p>\n

Jack, a senior at Jamesville-Dewitt High School, wanted to do something, too. So, Benedicte reached out to Rebecca Flint, who manages the Syracuse Making Strides Against Breast Cancer and Real Men Wear Pink campaigns. Benedicte met Rebecca after Onondaga County Sheriff Gene Conway created a Making Strides team in Benedicte\u2019s honor.<\/p>\n

Rebecca thought they could put Jack\u2019s artistic abilities to good use. He designed the T-shirt they\u2019re using for the Making Strides campaign. Benedicte thinks it was a great way to teach Jack some important lessons.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m trying to turn this harder situation into something positive,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m teaching him about fundraising for nonprofits because I think everyone should do that in whatever their interest is.\u201d<\/p>\n

Benedicte is also hoping to remind people of another lesson she learned after her diagnosis and treatment, one that was hard to swallow for a planner like herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cI realized that if I let somebody help me at work and something doesn\u2019t go perfectly, it\u2019s OK,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be the end of the world. If something doesn\u2019t get done, that\u2019s OK. Everything isn\u2019t important as you think it is when you have something looming over you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Learning how to let go and delegate responsibilities enabled Benedicte to keep working even while receiving treatment. Though the situation was surreal, she tried to not let it slow her down, she explained.<\/p>\n

Being a planner helped, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you look at the statistics, most people with this particular cancer are OK,\u201d she said. \u201cThere are different bumps but you have to understand it\u2019s something you have to get through and try to look ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

The ability to look ahead helped Benedicte maintain her positivity and sense of control over the situation. She feels that\u2019s important for anyone who is going through a difficult time.<\/p>\n

\u201cPut your head down and think forward to a year,\u201d she said. \u201cThere\u2019s a light at the end of this tunnel.\u201d SWM <\/em><\/p>\n

For more information on the American Cancer Society\u2019s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer and Real Men Wear Pink campaigns, visit makingstrides.acsevents.org<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Facing the Unplanned By Jamie Jenson | Photography by Paul Carmen Viggiano\u00a0 Benedicte Doran is a planner. Whether it\u2019s at her job as an event planner for John Katko for Congress or at home managing the many activities in which her three sons are involved, Benedicte likes to plot things out ahead of time. So,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2109,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[99],"tags":[377,707,676,695,677,262,694],"class_list":["post-2094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","tag-american-cancer-society","tag-benedicte-doran","tag-jamie-jenson","tag-october-2018","tag-paul-carmen-viggiano","tag-syracuse-woman-magazine","tag-the-pink-edition"],"gutentor_comment":1,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Benedicte_SWM_PRINT.jpg?fit=5200%2C3476&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2092,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2092","url_meta":{"origin":2094,"position":0},"title":"Christina Wallace","author":"Staff","date":"September 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Teaching the Importance of Early Detection By Jamie Jenson | Photography by Paul Carmen Viggiano Christina Wallace was only 38 when she found the lump that would completely change her life. \u201cI was lying on my couch watching TV, and my cat, who had been unusually clingy for a few\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Wallace_SWM_PRINT-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C793&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Wallace_SWM_PRINT-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C793&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Wallace_SWM_PRINT-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C793&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Wallace_SWM_PRINT-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C793&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/001_Wallace_SWM_PRINT-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C793&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2051,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2051","url_meta":{"origin":2094,"position":1},"title":"Mary Kate Intaglietta","author":"Staff","date":"September 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"From Volunteer to Executive Director By Carol Radin |\u00a0Photography by Paul Carmen Viggiano When the opportunity to become first executive director of Paige\u2019s Butterfly Run presented itself, Mary Kate Intaglietta didn\u2019t hesitate. \u201cI wanted something that tugged at my heartstrings,\u201d she remembered. 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