{"id":1761,"date":"2018-04-30T09:00:15","date_gmt":"2018-04-30T13:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1761"},"modified":"2018-04-30T10:41:41","modified_gmt":"2018-04-30T14:41:41","slug":"melissa-incassati","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1761","title":{"rendered":"Melissa Incassati"},"content":{"rendered":"

Family First<\/em><\/h1>\n

By Carol Radin | Photography by Mary Grace Johnson<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Melissa Incassati doesn\u2019t take her commitments lightly. It\u2019s how she advanced from bank teller to bank management, and why she is a devoted wife, mother of three boys and loyal friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to think in the moment,\u201d Melissa said, \u201cbut you have to think ahead, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

With one eye on the long-term vision, she sees herself on a bench swing on a big front porch, she said. At work, she supervises 15 branches and 100 employees; but when she\u2019s home, Melissa is on that metaphorical swing, slowing life down to share the simple pleasures with her family.<\/p>\n

Balancing those roles might seem to be a challenge for a couple with full-time jobs and three boys, ages 10, 8 and eight months, but Melissa and her husband, Tony, seem to have it figured out.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt isn\u2019t structured,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cWhenever one of the kids needs something, whoever gets there first does it. Whoever is home first starts dinner. People say, \u2018Who wears the pants?\u2019 We both have a leg in those pants.\u201d<\/p>\n

Melissa\u2019s two older sons are willing members of the team. They help to clean the house and take responsibility for their personal belongings and homework. Since Melissa\u2019s husband became a certified life coach, the boys have followed their parents\u2019 lead on healthy eating and wellness practices. The parents limit their children\u2019s time on electronic devices, opting instead to play board games, card games, color or sew.<\/p>\n

Eight months ago, the birth of their third son added a new dimension to the family.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe baby made everyone in the family a little bit better,\u201d Melissa said.<\/p>\n

Her two eldest sons were included in the preparations even before the birth. They were excited at the prospect of being big brothers, she remembered.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a family pregnancy,\u201d Melissa said proudly, adding she was surprised by the strong opinions her sons held about potential names and nursery colors.<\/p>\n

Even with a new member of the family, Melissa has been able to keep up with her older sons. She still picks them up from school twice a week. It\u2019s their time to be a trio, chattering away\u00a0and singing Taylor Swift songs in the car. The boys take karate lessons twice a week, and in the summer, they all play in their backyard pool.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy family likes to be at home,\u201d Melissa said, adding that their favorite activity together is family movie night every week. \u201cWe all sit together on our sectional \u2014 the baby\u2019s with us, too \u2014 and we eat ice cream or snacks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Melissa makes sure, though, that her home life isn\u2019t just about the kids, and that she and her husband have time every day to get back to each other. Whether he\u2019s warming up her car in the morning or offering his shoulder at the end of a long day, Tony is \u201cthe most amazing person in the world,\u201d Melissa said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find a reason to thank him for some little thing every day,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Melissa traces her commitment to family to past experiences of both love and loss.<\/p>\n

When she was 25, Melissa lost her mother to cancer. Tony lost his father when he was 15. Melissa has one sister, but her mother was an only child, which meant no aunts, uncles and cousins for Melissa on that side of her family.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrowing up, my friends were my family,\u201d she said, adding that her best friend today has been her best friend for 25 years.<\/p>\n

Melissa and Tony both grew up on Syracuse\u2019s Northside, and their families are still local. Both her father and Tony\u2019s mother live close by. Their support makes life much easier, Melissa said. Being able to depend on them is a relief, she explained.<\/p>\n

When asked about her personal goals, Melissa didn\u2019t refer to her career, demanding as it is, but to her family.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to maintain a close relationship with my kids,\u201d she said. \u201cI want them to know that I am there for them no matter what they go through.\u201d<\/p>\n

And her goals for her children? They are goals she strides to model herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be kind to others, to be a good friend,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cI want them to fill other people\u2019s buckets.\u201d SWM<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Family First By Carol Radin | Photography by Mary Grace Johnson Melissa Incassati doesn\u2019t take her commitments lightly. It\u2019s how she advanced from bank teller to bank management, and why she is a devoted wife, mother of three boys and loyal friend. \u201cYou have to think in the moment,\u201d Melissa said, \u201cbut you have to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1797,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[312,160,599,615,600],"class_list":["post-1761","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","tag-carol-radin","tag-mary-grace-johnson","tag-may-2018","tag-melissa-incassati","tag-the-family-edition"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Meslissa-3-1.jpg?fit=5200%2C3480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1080,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1080","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":0},"title":"From Mom to Me Again","author":"Staff","date":"September 29, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Filling an Empty Nest\u00a0 By Christine A. Krahling Preparing for an empty nest can stir up a whole host of emotions: sadness, uncertainty, loneliness and, at the same time, maybe even a little bit of relief and excitement about what\u2019s to come. As women, we typically manage our children\u2019s schedules:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Special Feature"","block_context":{"text":"Special Feature","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=1200%2C803&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=1200%2C803&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=1200%2C803&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=1200%2C803&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=1200%2C803&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1679,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1679","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":1},"title":"Pragya Murphy","author":"Staff","date":"March 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Funding WISE Women\u00a0 By Carol Radin | Photography by Mary Grace Johnson\u00a0 In her role on the WISE Women\u2019s Business Center\u2019s board of directors, Pragya Murphy takes to heart the words WISE stands for: \u201cWomen Igniting the Spirit of Enterpreneurship.\u201d Pragya, chair of the board\u2019s fundraising committee, is ignited by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Features"","block_context":{"text":"Features","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=101"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Pragya-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Pragya-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Pragya-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Pragya-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Pragya-6.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":964,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=964","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":2},"title":"Husna Lapidus","author":"Staff","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Literacy Leaders By Carol Radin | Photography by Mary Grace Photography\u00a0 Learning and literacy at Kumon Math and Reading Center in DeWitt are a family affair for owner and director Husna Lapidus. As a businesswoman and mother of three, Husna brings the principles of engaged learning from her home to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Husna-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C786&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Husna-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C786&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Husna-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C786&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Husna-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C786&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Husna-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C786&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2051,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2051","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":3},"title":"Mary Kate Intaglietta","author":"Staff","date":"September 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"From Volunteer to Executive Director By Carol Radin |\u00a0Photography by Paul Carmen Viggiano When the opportunity to become first executive director of Paige\u2019s Butterfly Run presented itself, Mary Kate Intaglietta didn\u2019t hesitate. \u201cI wanted something that tugged at my heartstrings,\u201d she remembered. The fundraising organization honoring the memory of Paige\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/026_SWM_MaryKate_PaigesRun.jpg?fit=1200%2C817&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/026_SWM_MaryKate_PaigesRun.jpg?fit=1200%2C817&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/026_SWM_MaryKate_PaigesRun.jpg?fit=1200%2C817&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/026_SWM_MaryKate_PaigesRun.jpg?fit=1200%2C817&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/026_SWM_MaryKate_PaigesRun.jpg?fit=1200%2C817&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1599,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1599","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":4},"title":"Sheryl Garofano","author":"Staff","date":"March 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Putting an Exclamation Point on Life\u00a0 By Carol Radin | Photography by Alice G. Patterson\u00a0 Sheryl Garofano is on a journey. Diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer 18 months ago, she traverses new challenges every day: chemotherapy treatments, surgeries and side effects; the constant search to educate herself and her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Sheryl-Garofano-0001-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C796&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Sheryl-Garofano-0001-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C796&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Sheryl-Garofano-0001-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C796&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Sheryl-Garofano-0001-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C796&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Sheryl-Garofano-0001-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C796&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1452,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1452","url_meta":{"origin":1761,"position":5},"title":"Sushila Shah","author":"Staff","date":"January 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"A Second Career of Healing By Carol Radin | Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 Reiki healing came to Sushila Shah as a gift \u2014 literally. While visiting her sister in her native home of India, her sister arranged for Sushila to take Reiki training sessions. In other less literal ways, though,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Features"","block_context":{"text":"Features","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=101"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/SWM-JAN-AEP-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C792&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/SWM-JAN-AEP-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C792&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/SWM-JAN-AEP-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C792&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/SWM-JAN-AEP-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C792&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/SWM-JAN-AEP-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C792&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1761"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1813,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1761\/revisions\/1813"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}