{"id":1589,"date":"2018-03-01T09:00:52","date_gmt":"2018-03-01T14:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1589"},"modified":"2018-02-28T20:17:07","modified_gmt":"2018-03-01T01:17:07","slug":"life-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1589","title":{"rendered":"Life House"},"content":{"rendered":"

Building Life House\u00a0<\/em><\/h1>\n

Photography by Alexis Emm<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Earlier this year, In My Father\u2019s Kitchen founders John and Leigh-Ann Tumino announced the creation of Life House, a new project designed to serve as a home of rescue, transition and transformation for women once trapped in a life of sex trafficking. We chatted with John and Leigh-Ann to learn more.<\/em><\/p>\n

SWM: Sex trafficking in Central New York isn\u2019t typically on the forefront of people\u2019s minds. How did you become aware of the issue? <\/em><\/h4>\n

Leigh-Ann: We\u2019ve lived on the Northside for 20-some years. It\u2019s a very highly populated area with a lot of prostitution, so we\u2019ve seen it since we\u2019ve been living over there. And we\u2019ve just always had a heart to help these young women.<\/p>\n

John: But didn\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: Having spoken to some of them, it\u2019s amazing the lives they\u2019ve had to live and the things they\u2019ve gone through.<\/p>\n

John: They get themselves put into these positions, because of a disfunction or a breakdown in their own mind, their own psychology of feeling like they don\u2019t have self-worth. Or they get caught in drug addiction, and the next thing they know, they\u2019re trapped.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: But in their own thinking, they\u2019re not trapped. [They think,] \u201cHe loves me, he\u2019s taking care of me.\u201d You have to get into their head and turn their thinking around to look back at themselves and say, \u201cHey, I have value and worth.\u201d So, we have always had a heart to do something with the women.
\nThen, last year in January, we got a phone call from a family who had a family member pass away, and they wanted to give us his house. And we were like, \u201cThere\u2019s our answer!\u201d<\/p>\n

SWM: How do you break through that barrier with the women and help them begin to build their self-worth? <\/em><\/h4>\n

Leigh-Ann: We\u2019re going to be working closely with Judge Limpert, who is the sex trafficking judge here in Syracuse. [When he\u2019s working,] he comes down off the bench and takes his robe off. He sits at a table with them, and basically says, \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d [Life House] is a place for them to go while they\u2019re working through the system.<\/p>\n

John: We met with [Judge Limpert] and pitched our idea.
\nWe have this house and we\u2019d like to have a maximum of three women \u2014 two at a time, and one woman would be like a house mother. It would be to help women come to life and live life again. And our thing is just loving them and pampering them and showing them value and dignity.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: There is so much that comes off the street with them. A lot of them have PTSD. A lot of them are dealing with trying to get free of the hold that man had\u00a0on them. It\u2019s going to be an opportunity to be in a home and learn how to live again, learn to communicate again with other people, learn responsibility.<\/p>\n

John: We\u2019re not naive to the fact that the women who come to the house and go through this program have to want it for themselves. We can\u2019t want it more than them. We\u2019re not naive to the fact that there could be relapse.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: Being out on the street [with In My Father\u2019s Kitchen] has trained us a little bit, to prepare us for this. Just like the cardboard sign \u2014 there\u2019s a story behind the sign \u2014 every woman is going to be different. You\u2019ve got to work with the individual, because everybody\u2019s at different levels. Everybody has different needs.<\/p>\n

John: We\u2019ve learned relapse is part of recovery. So, sometimes, you might shoot yourself in the foot. One of the great things for us is the court is going to have oversight on this whole thing.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: Judge Limpert will have a background on the women. So, I feel more confident being able to work with him, rather than just jumping on the trail and being like, \u201cOK, let\u2019s do this!\u201d<\/p>\n

John: Now, what I want to do in the beginning of this year is go sit in the court a couple times and see how it happens, and how he actually does it \u2014 watch it live, and see what goes on. And he said to us one of the hardest things for [the women is] they don\u2019t flip on the guys. They think that these men who are controlling them and using them really care about them.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: But I think if you give someone support and unconditional love, they see that, \u201cWow, I can be loved for who I am, not because of what I can bring them or what I can do for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

SWM: Do you think you\u2019ll eventually expand to a second house? <\/em><\/h4>\n

John: To me, I\u2019d rather [offer] quality than quantity. I\u2019m sure [Vera House does] something in this realm, and we don\u2019t want to duplicate services that are already out there. To me, if one person\u2019s life is changed forever, it was worth it. It\u2019s not about grinding out numbers.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: It\u2019s not a program or an institution. It\u2019s a home.<\/p>\n

John: It might be a three-month stint for one person. It could be six months for another. Maybe they relapse and they go to jail. Who knows what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: Ralph Waldo Emerson said, \u201cDo not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.\u201d So, that\u2019s kind of what we\u2019re doing. This is going to be very different, just like In My Father\u2019s Kitchen was out-of-the-box and different. People were looking at us, going, \u201cWhat? Why are you doing it that way? Everybody does it this way.\u201d We\u2019re just going to do it differently.<\/p>\n

John: We\u2019re following our heart. And, for us, following God is part of our life, and letting him make the path.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: [The women in Life House] won\u2019t be required to read a Bible. They won\u2019t be required to go to church.<\/p>\n

John: But if they want it, it\u2019s available.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: And just like our guys out on the street, once they get housed [in permanent housing after Life House], we stay with them. It\u2019ll be the same with the ladies. We\u2019re here to support you even beyond.<\/p>\n

SWM: How can readers connect with you and help? <\/em><\/h4>\n

Leigh-Ann: We have an online volunteer application people can fill out. The difference for Life House is you have to be very careful who goes in there and volunteers, so the screening will be a little bit more than it is for In My Father\u2019s Kitchen. And, just like out on the streets, you can\u2019t have 20 people approach someone.
\nWe\u2019ll need women who want to build a relationship, be like a mentor and a helper, make friends with these women and be willing to support them past when they leave.<\/p>\n

John: Maybe they could give their time and the talent, in regards to doing [residents\u2019] nails and doing their hair and taking them shopping, being that sister or mother figure.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: Once we open, we\u2019ll definitely know more.<\/p>\n

John: Right now, we\u2019re in fundraising mode. We need about $28,000. I think we have about $15,000 raised [as of January interview], so we\u2019re still trying to fund the rest of the project. So, financial [support] is another way people can really help.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: That will always be a need. We have In My Father\u2019s Kitchen, and now we\u2019re adding another operational cost to it.<\/p>\n

John: The women aren\u2019t going to be paying to live there. Maybe they\u2019ll have food stamps, so we\u2019re trying to think of some things that they all chip in for.
\nWe want to make sure that they\u2019ve got dignity, quality, value. For us, it\u2019s about building a relationship with people. You\u2019ve got to get to know them. When they trust you, they\u2019ll tell you their story.
\nIf you open yourself up to helping people, it\u2019s amazing where you\u2019ll end up. We\u2019re excited about what we\u2019ll be doing next, because who knows what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n

Leigh-Ann: What if this works and it expands beyond that? Then we\u2019re going to need more volunteers. Right now, we\u2019re just small. We\u2019re a seed. And that\u2019s OK. SWM <\/em><\/p>\n

For more information and to get involved, visit inmyfatherskitchen.org<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"AEP <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>
\"AEP <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>
\"AEP <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>
\"AEP <\/a> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Building Life House\u00a0 Photography by Alexis Emm\u00a0 Earlier this year, In My Father\u2019s Kitchen founders John and Leigh-Ann Tumino announced the creation of Life House, a new project designed to serve as a home of rescue, transition and transformation for women once trapped in a life of sex trafficking. We chatted with John and Leigh-Ann…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[99],"tags":[156,556,559,558,557,549,548],"class_list":["post-1589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","tag-alexis-emm","tag-in-my-fathers-kitchen","tag-john-tumino","tag-leigh-ann-tumino","tag-life-house","tag-march-2018","tag-the-womens-history-empowerment-edition"],"gutentor_comment":1,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/AEP-SWM-MARCH-1-1.jpg?fit=3703%2C2464&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":962,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=962","url_meta":{"origin":1589,"position":0},"title":"Purpose Farm","author":"Staff","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Living with a Purpose By Lorna Oppedisano | Photography by Alexis Emm \u201cMy earliest memory in life is riding a rocking horse nonstop. 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