{"id":1080,"date":"2017-09-29T09:00:51","date_gmt":"2017-09-29T13:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1080"},"modified":"2017-10-03T10:39:59","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T14:39:59","slug":"from-mom-to-me-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1080","title":{"rendered":"From Mom to Me Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Filling an Empty Nest\u00a0<\/em><\/h1>\n

By Christine A. Krahling<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Preparing for an empty nest can stir up a whole host of emotions: sadness, uncertainty, loneliness and, at the same time, maybe even a little bit of relief and excitement about what\u2019s to come.<\/p>\n

As women, we typically manage our children\u2019s schedules: from diapers to driving lessons, carpools to college applications, and everything between. While the role of \u201cMom-in-Chief\u201d can be a fulfilling one, eventually there comes a time when our services are no longer needed, at least not in their original capacity.<\/p>\n

Though I wouldn\u2019t trade the \u201cMommy Years\u201d for anything in the world, I\u2019d be lying if I said I never daydream about what I\u2019ll do when I have more free time. I have two more years before I\u2019m an official empty-nester. But I\u2019m a planner, so, I figured it couldn\u2019t hurt to do some research in preparation for this next phase of life.<\/p>\n

Turns out I wasn\u2019t alone in my thinking.<\/p>\n

Melissa T. Shultz, author of \u201cFrom Mom to Me Again: How I Survived My First Empty-Nest Year and Reinvented the Rest of My Life,\u201d said, \u201cParenting doesn\u2019t stop, but it does change.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Melissa, about three million women become empty-nesters each year. While there are plenty of self-help articles devoted to reinventing yourself once empty-nest syndrome hits, most of this information addresses only what to do after the kids leave home, not before, Melissa explained. So, she began thinking about how to transform into the role of empty-nester.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry new things on for size,\u201d she said. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to marry the activity \u2014 just give it a chance and see what interests and friends might come from it. This way, you are more purposefully engaged, rather than mindlessly engaged \u2014 intentionally moving forward. It can be scary, I know, but it\u2019s also empowering.\u201d<\/p>\n

When most of us think about a time we\u2019ll be free to take up a new hobby, go back to school or reenter the work force, we often don\u2019t factor in things that might prevent us from achieving our later-in-life goals. After all, we\u2019ve already earned our stripes, right? But what if life throws you a curveball?<\/p>\n

In Melissa\u2019s case, that curveball was a breast cancer diagnosis at age 45. At the time, Melissa\u2019s sons were 10 and 12 years old. In an essay for the website \u201cScary Mommy,\u201d she wrote it \u201cfelt like the end of the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

When asked if her empty-nest plans would have been different without that experience, Melissa explained that cancer forces conversations about mortality, hopes and dreams, and \u201cwhether or not we have achieved them,\u201d she said. She was reminded of longterm goals she\u2019d put on hold when she had her children. Writing a book was one of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cHad I not developed cancer, I\u2019m not sure I would have pushed myself in quite the same way,\u201d she said. \u201cI understand now, more than ever, not only how temporary life is, but the importance of shifting expectations to meet changing realities.\u201d<\/p>\n

In \u201cFrom Mom to Me Again,\u201d Melissa wrote, \u201cthe single biggest feeling the empty-nest women I\u2019ve spoken to expressed, even for those who initially are thrilled to have some time of their own, is a sense of stillness.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a calendar revolving around the family schedule, mothers always have something to do, Melissa explained. When the house empties, it can cause a dramatic shift.<\/p>\n

When Melissa was diagnosed, she felt a similar change. Her time was her own again, she said, but she hated to be still. Her children were a welcomed distraction. She devoted energy to making sure her children \u201cdidn\u2019t pick up on any negative, ominous vibe \u2014 a \u2018Mom\u2019s on the phone whispering\u2019 sort of thing,\u201d she said, explaining she did her best to avoid talking to friends and family about her illness when her boys were around.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to be fully present, and have life go on as normally as possible,\u201d she said. \u201cI carried that forward as I moved past the cancer, trying to create a sense of peacefulness, not stillness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bridging the \u201cold\u201d Melissa to the \u201cnew\u201d Melissa was a road paved with pebbles she needed to sort through, she said. For women sorting through their own pebbles \u2014 women who may be juggling more than one type of life transition at a time \u2014 Melissa stressed the importance of moving forward with self confidence.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are few wrong paths in life,\u201d she wrote in her book. \u201cIf you don\u2019t like the one you\u2019re on, try another.\u201d SWM <\/em><\/p>\n

For more information on \u201cFrom Mom to Me Again\u201d and Melissa T. Shultz, visit her Facebook page<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

For more from writer Christine A. Krahling, visit keepcalmandwrite.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Filling an Empty Nest\u00a0 By Christine A. Krahling Preparing for an empty nest can stir up a whole host of emotions: sadness, uncertainty, loneliness and, at the same time, maybe even a little bit of relief and excitement about what\u2019s to come. As women, we typically manage our children\u2019s schedules: from diapers to driving lessons,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[367,370,369,356,368,262],"class_list":["post-1080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-feature","tag-christine-a-krahling","tag-from-mom-to-me-again-how-i-survived-my-first-empty-nest-year-and-reinvented-the-rest-of-my-life","tag-melissa-t-shultz","tag-october-2017","tag-syracuse-reads","tag-syracuse-woman-magazine"],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Syracuse-Reads.jpg?fit=5200%2C3480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1274,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=1274","url_meta":{"origin":1080,"position":0},"title":"Modern Spice","author":"Staff","date":"December 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Spicing Up the Kitchen By Christine A. Krahling | Photography provided by Monica Bhide\u00a0 This month, we had a chance to talk with Monica Bhide, author of \u201cModern Spice: Inspired Indian Flavors for the Contemporary Kitchen.\u201d Find out what Monica thinks about our evolving food culture, the role Pinterest plays\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Food"","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=102"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/08_SA_IndCkBk_RicePudd-023-2-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/08_SA_IndCkBk_RicePudd-023-2-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/08_SA_IndCkBk_RicePudd-023-2-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/08_SA_IndCkBk_RicePudd-023-2-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/08_SA_IndCkBk_RicePudd-023-2-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2086,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2086","url_meta":{"origin":1080,"position":1},"title":"Come Back Strong","author":"Staff","date":"September 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Interview with Lori Ann King By Christine A. 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Krahling\u00a0 Poison Girls is the fictional story of crime reporter Natalie Delaney, who discovers that daughters of Democratic powerhouses are targets of a serial killer who uses drugs \u2014 specifically a strand of street heroin called \u201cPoison\u201d \u2014 to kill. When Natalie\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Features"","block_context":{"text":"Features","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=101"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Reedauthorsmall.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Reedauthorsmall.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Reedauthorsmall.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Reedauthorsmall.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Reedauthorsmall.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":868,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=868","url_meta":{"origin":1080,"position":3},"title":"Learning How to \u201cStress Less\u201d","author":"Staff","date":"June 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Syracuse Reads: Being More Mindful By Christine A. 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Patterson Jamie Ann Owens \u2014 more widely known as Syracuse content creator, SocietyGurl \u2014 has had an appreciation for all things vintage, fabulous and ladylike in Syracuse since she was about 3 or 4 years old.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","block_context":{"text":"Featured","link":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?cat=99"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jamie-Owens-The-Society-Gurl-0011.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jamie-Owens-The-Society-Gurl-0011.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jamie-Owens-The-Society-Gurl-0011.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jamie-Owens-The-Society-Gurl-0011.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Jamie-Owens-The-Society-Gurl-0011.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2628,"url":"https:\/\/www.syracusewomanmag.com\/?p=2628","url_meta":{"origin":1080,"position":5},"title":"SYRACUSE EATS: Thai Thai Cusine","author":"Sarah Hall","date":"October 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"By Megan Sheehan Photos by Steven J. 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